update. lifeless me =_+

for the past few days I was definitely feeling, as how my mom defines it: lifeless.

I didn't feel like doing any studying, eating, exercising, answering texts or calls...

Just being a so called "innocent bitch"
- doing things that i'm harming myself in and hurting others as well...

I REALIZED WHY. IREALIZED WHY

Like how the conversation went between Nodame Cantabile's Maestro Franz Streseman and Chaiki Shinichi:

Shinichi: Please, stop drinking and indulging in women so much, and live long.

Streseman: (smiles wryly) However, without drinking, women, and music, I die.

THAT WAS SO BASED ON MEMORY COZ I am lazy to find that part, it was in the episode after both their performances together and they were tired lying on different sofas talking.

I think that's how I am in ways as well...minus the drinking and women of coz. ..and the death part.
For without music, I limp and breathe without ambition. I am lifeless.

I realized I practice, I sing, I dance to relieve myself from becoming lifeless...
When I feel lifeless I feel..fatigued, tired, don't want to do homework, procrastination 10x best.

Amazing.

Now I know how to get my body recharged. WOOOOOOOOOO~ so happy

and sometimes...i wonder if this may be rather a curse than a blessing hmm

and now i'm super energetic. i woke up early to see the DJI tumbling down around 141 points lowest and then recharged a bit...

... damn why am i even looking at the stock market anymore! i gave up business years ago! puhuhuh